Starting Over
by IngenueForever
Summary: I love the complex Dayna relationship and am curious how the writers would explain how Deacon & Rayna could end up successfully working in a band together for over 13 years after their relationship had imploded in traumatic fashion. What role did the lie about Maddie play, and how did the relationship come almost full circle before the first season of the show? Please review!
1. Chapter 1

Starting Over

_This is a short one shot on Deacon's first serious leap into sobriety years ago._

_Deacon is one of my favorite current TV characters (come on, why wouldn't he be?), and I love exploring his character and his challenges. So many of you have written great background for the main Nashville characters, that they've really come to life for me. Thanks!_

_#####_

When he opened the doors to the rehab facility and stepped outside, everything was different. For the first time, she wasn't there, and she wasn't going to be there- maybe ever again.

There were a lot of things different this time. For one, it took him much longer than before to get all the booze out of his system. He'd never felt so sick. A week after detox he was still throwing up. But it wasn't just the booze. It was his heart. At times he thought he was going insane. He had a hard time believing where he'd landed, though he'd landed there many times before.

It's not as if he hadn't realized things were getting bad. He just hadn't realized _how_ bad. The booze clouded all his judgment. But as sure as daylight, slowly over time, he'd let all the good in his life slip away.

Five years ago he thought he'd finally escaped the shithole life he used to think he was destined for. He'd gotten out from under the thumb of that nasty S-O-**B** father of his. He'd made it to Nashville, made a living on his own for a few years, then met the woman that would change his whole life: Rayna Jaymes. They were the perfect team. She had the voice, personality, and great looks. He could play guitar and write, _and_ they were in love. They were electric on stage and off. The combination was industry magic. They'd written number one hits together and shared the excitement of performing in huge stadiums in front of thousands of people. She'd sold millions of records and started winning prestigious awards. And they'd done this _together_.

Despite the drinking, he was trying harder and harder to become the man he'd always wanted to be- the kind of man that would deserve Rayna Jaymes, the kind of man he never really believed he was. 'd been sending money to his sister, helping her get treatment for her own demons, and he was also supporting his niece through college. He'd bought a house. He was trying desperately to walk the line, to hold on.

When he and Rayna were together for the first time, it had taken him a while to believe that someone like her could love him. But she did love him. They understood each other. The money she came from didn't make a difference to her. They shared a similar pain. They'd both lost their mothers too early under tragic circumstances. And they both shared the same passion- music and each other. Mostly, they'd both felt like outsiders their whole lives, like they were misunderstood and had something to prove. They could tell each other anything, share anything, and experience everything together, and they'd promised to help each other through it all. His whole vision of his future was wrapped up with Rayna Jaymes. If she loved him, everything was possible.

But here he was. He'd been at the facility for three months this time and was going to stay at the safe house for another six months, at least. He'd finally been sober long enough to start putting the pieces together. He'd missed that show in LA. It was a huge deal. The recording companies were battling it out over Rayna's contract and there was even word he might have a shot at his own deal. Rayna had said that was the last straw- that she could put herself at risk but she wasn't just responsible for herself anymore, she had people whose livelihoods depended on her, not to mention her fans. He'd become too unreliable.

She'd broken up with him three times already, but he'd always figured out a way to convince her to give him another try. That is until Teddy Conrad showed up. She'd dated a few other men since their first break up, but this was the first guy that she kept around. He was a polished college grad from a well-to-do family- just the kind of man he'd always assumed Rayna would be with. That forced him to straighten out just long enough to give Rayna hope that he could make it. He'd even proposed to her. But even he couldn't handle the lie. He got drunk the same night and it was over. He'd lost her.

When Rayna called him and told him that she was marrying Teddy Conrad it broke his heart. But the moment he learned she was having Teddy's baby, it broke his spirit. It was as if everything he'd ever believed about himself was true after all. He wasn't good enough for her. She didn't really love him. His father was right. That's what he told himself, anyway, and that's what inspired his steepest and longest downward spiral. It was the same exact feeling he had on the night his father beat his mother and sister and told him he'd grow up to be a drunk just like him. It was the most shameful feeling he could imagine - watching helplessly as his father hurt his family and tried his best to crush his own son's spirit. It was a memory he'd never confessed to anyone. He couldn't. He couldn't bear the pain.

Standing there, he wondered why Rayna had helped him again. It had been a about a year since Rayna had her baby. His sponsor, Coleman, had been trying to track him down for weeks and finally found him. He remembered Coleman convincing him that it was truly a miracle that he was still alive, and so he needed to believe he was meant to survive and get himself into rehab again. Rayna was willing to foot the bill. Deacon wasn't sure why he'd agreed, but he did. He made Coleman promise not to tell her where he'd found him or how bad he'd looked. Even with the booze, while they were together he'd never cheated on her. He couldn't look at another woman the way he looked at Rayna and he knew he'd never be able to face her again if he ever did, even though they hadn't been together in a long time. He wondered if he'd be able to face her again now. 

So here he was. Alone. It definitely felt different. As he waited for Coleman he recited the messages he heard over and over the past few months. _He had family and friends who loved him. He did deserve to be happy._ He smirked. Well, at least one thing had gotten through to him. He finally accepted that he was truly an addict and that he couldn't drink anymore if he was ever going to be with Rayna again or even have a career in music. This was his 4th time in rehab and he was gonna make damn sure it would be his last. He would keep that promise for the next 14 years. 


	2. Chapter 2

A New Day: Chapter 2 - The Circle Game

It never failed. He always had to wait at least 15 minutes for Coleman to make it to the diner. One time he waited almost an hour. After 20 years, Coleman must have known everyone in AA, at least everyone in Nashville. He couldn't get through the crowd after the meeting without having at least one long conversation. Deacon smiled to himself , shaking his head as he picked up his coffee mug to take a sip.

Rayna had connected the two. After the second time Deacon failed to show to a gig because of his drinking, it finally occurred to her that he might actually have a problem. Coleman's family had a long history with the Wyatt's. Coleman's father was a minister who'd supported Rayna's grandfather's political aspirations. They were quite close and shared similar views on the contentious issues of the time - mainly civil rights. Despite racial tensions in the area, Coleman's family spent many a Sunday afternoon barbecue at the Wyatt home. Though Lamar's political tendencies didn't exactly mirror those of his father, he and Coleman kept up the family tradition. Their girls were quite close as children, in fact. So when Rayna asked him to help Deacon, he immediately accepted. He'd convinced Deacon to check out AA and agreed to be his sponsor. Deacon went through several short periods of sobriety, but was never able to make it stick. Coleman knew Rayna loved this man, and since he loved her almost like his own, he refused to give up on him.

He grew to love Deacon, too. He admired him for his talent and knew first-hand the battle he was facing. It took Coleman several attempts at sobriety before he 'got it.' He was fortunate that his family was so supportive, especially since there weren't nearly as many meetings back then. Now he was sponsoring three people and was active in raising money for recovery facilities and programs in the area.

Deacon saw Coleman come in and flagged him down. Coleman sat down and ordered his coffee.

"Good meeting," Deacon noted.

"Very good," Coleman responded, as he settled into the red cushioned booth. "You look good, Deacon. In fact, I'd say you look better than I've ever seen you."

"That's not really saying much, now is it?" They both laughed. Coleman thought that might've been the first time he'd seen Deacon laugh outside of a meeting, ever.

"No, seriously. You look healthy. You almost look, dare I say, happy." Deacon recognized that look when Coleman was about to say something he didn't want to hear.

"I know what you're going to say," Deacon responded, looking right back at Coleman. "You think it's time for me to talk to Rayna."

"We've been working on this for over a month now. I think you need to take the next step. You need to follow through. She still cares about you, Deacon. You're family to her."

"Well, I beat you to it. I left her a message today. We'll see if she responds."

"She will. Just give her time." Coleman put the coffee mug back on the table.

"Well, I've got plenty of that," Deacon said, trying to keep things light.

The waitress came by and refilled their coffee mugs. "Can I get you boys anything else?"

"No, Ma'am, we're good for now."

Coleman looked at Deacon, then reached his hand over to cover Deacon's hand, in support. "I'm proud of you. That took guts." Deacon took a deep breath and sighed.

"Maybe, but my guess is, that was the easy part. "

"You just pray on it. The words will come." Deacon wasn't so sure, but he had to trust in something. So he trusted Coleman, he trusted the program. He wasn't sure he trusted God yet, but he figured if he kept at it long enough, eventually that would come, too.

###

While he sat waiting on the bench by the river, Deacon kept rehearsing what he wanted to say. Rayna had wanted to meet at a coffee shop, but then she agreed to meet him there. Tandy would drive her and wait in the car. Teddy wasn't happy about Rayna meeting with Deacon at all, though he'd always known one day it would happen. But he wouldn't let her meet him alone. He said he didn't think it was _safe_. Rayna knew that was only half the reason, but she didn't want to make Teddy uncomfortable or be unfair. So this was a good compromise.

Initially Rayna wasn't sure she wanted to meet with Deacon either. It was easier to pretend it never happened- to pretend 'they' never happened and just carry on, forgetting all the sadness and torment she went through over him. She had been mad at Deacon for a long time. For the two years before his last try at rehab, she was furious. He kept making promises he never kept, missing gigs, scaring the day lights out of her when he disappeared, sometimes for days on end. And then when he proposed to her drunk, she decided she couldn't handle it anymore. She'd never been more mad or more devastated. She couldn't stop wondering why he didn't choose her over the booze. Why didn't he love her enough? It took a lot of talks with Coleman for to finally accept that Deacon's drinking had little to do with her. He was sick and needed help.

At one point, she'd fallen into a depression. She hid it well. All of the performing she'd done had taught her how to hold it together under any circumstance. But Teddy knew. She'd cried herself to sleep many a night before the baby was born. That made her loyalty to him even stronger. He stayed by her side even when his love wasn't enough.

But Maddie changed everything. Rayna loved being a mother to her beautiful little baby girl, and she started to enjoy being a wife. All the while she was able to keep her career going in full gear. She had a full life, and she was grateful.

As she drove up to meet Deacon, she thought to herself how ironic it was that in many ways, she had Deacon to be grateful for, at least in part, for her current happiness. She knew she wouldn't have made it in the business without him by her side. He'd given her confidence when she didn't have any. He'd believed in her, loved her, and wrote the most beautiful songs she'd ever heard, often about her. She still hadn't met anyone who strummed a guitar as good as him, either. And now he'd given her this little girl. In her heart, she knew she couldn't ever let go of him completely. In some ways, this tormented her, but she had made a decision, and for the sake of her family, she intended to keep it.

Deacon heard the car park and the door open and close, but he couldn't lift his head from staring at the leaves on the ground. His stomach turned. Finally, he looked up. There she was, stunning as always. The hair on her shoulders bounced up and down as she walked and sparkled in the late afternoon sunshine. Actually, he was wrong. She was more beautiful than ever. She looked a little different. A little more confident, more_ adult_ he thought to himself. _Ah, motherhood agrees with her_. _Her life without me agrees with her._

"Hey, well look at you," Rayna greeted Deacon in a quiet voice as she approached, trying to be cheerful and break the ice.

Deacon let a little grin slip on the side of his mouth. He shook his head.

"Thanks for coming, Ray." She smiled and then sat down next to him , leaving a comfortable space in between.

"Really, you do look great. Motherhood agrees with you. You got any pictures of that little girl of yours to show me?"

She'd imagined he would ask, but not so soon. It caught her off guard. "You bet I do." She pulled out three photos of little Maddie and one of her and Teddy with Maddie. She started to put the last one back in her wallet, but then changed her mind. It was her reality now. She needed to show that to Deacon. They needed to accept it.

"She's just beautiful, Ray, really beautiful. How does it feel to be a momma?"

"I love it. I could never have imagined how it would change my life. I'd do anything for her, anything. Can't wait for you to meet her sometime."

"That would be really nice," Deacon added. Then there was silence. It was so bitter sweet. He was happy to see Ray looking so good. She looked peaceful, glowing. But it also burned a hole in his heart bigger than the size of Texas. Here she was, the woman of his dreams, and she had truly moved on. She didn't need him anymore.

Deacon didn't know that Rayna had practiced this moment over and over. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to handle keeping the truth from him, but somehow she stayed strong, motivated both by a desire to see him stay sober and keep her family intact. She didn't think she could survive any more trauma with him and she couldn't give her daughter that kind of life. That love gave her a strength she didn't know she'd had.

They both sat there, looking down, listening to the birds and the slight rush of the water. Deacon finally broke the silence. "Ray, I'm so relieved that you're doing well and I'm so, so deeply sorry for what I put you through. I hope someday you'll be able to forgive me."

Rayna could see that Deacon's eyes were watery. She took his right hand in hers and looked at him. "Deacon, you're always gonna be family to me. You have no idea how happy it makes me knowing that you're doing better, that you're healthy."

"That I'm not drinkin."

"Yeah. But I want you to be happy, too." She smiled and looked up at him, trying to convey how seriously she meant that.

"I'm trying, Ray. Just like Coleman says, it's one day at a time." He looked back at her, quickly. Too much focus caused too much pain.

"What are you doing about getting back to your music?"

"I play at home. I've written some songs. I actually called Billy over at the Bluebird. I might start playing there next month."

"That's good, Deacon, that's real good." Rayna looked at Deacon and smiled. "You know you're still the best guitar player in town, don't you?"

"Come on, Ray."

"No, you are." She leaned over and their shoulders collided, knocking into each other a bit, like old times, old friends.

"I'm gettin ready to go out again in another month. Should be interesting with Maddie along for the ride."

"Wow, Rayna and her daughter on tour, what a sight." The thought made Deacon smile.

"Well, I'll get to have her for part of the time at least. She'll stay home with Teddy for the rest."

Deacon immediately caught the sadness in her voice. "That's hard, I bet, knowing you won't be with her the whole time." Rayna was amazed. He still read her like a book.

"You have no idea. I can't think about it, actually, or I get really upset."

Deacon looked up at Rayna with a question in his eyes. He didn't want to hear the answer, but he had to know. "He's good to you, Ray, huh?"

"Yeah, Teddy's a good man, Deacon. " Deacon looked down again, nodded, and shook his head.

He did his best to meet her eyes and added, "Well, you deserve that. You really do."

The moment finally got to Rayna. Her eye's started to tear up.

"Well, I gotta go." Deacon could see she was a little upset.

"I'm sorry, Ray."

"No, no, don't be silly," Rayna replied, her voice shaking. " I'm so glad we met today. Don't forget what I said. I wanna see you back playin at the Bluebird real soon." She wiped a tear from her cheek and smiled.

"Okay." Deacon managed a little grin, for Rayna's sake.

Then she stood up and put her hand on his forearm. She held it there for a minute. It was a small gesture, but it meant everything. It meant she hadn't forgotten.

"Bye."

Deacon looked up, squinting his eyes a bit at the sun and replied, "Bye."

He watched her as she walked back to the car, where Tandy was waiting. Then he drove himself home. He didn't know what to do with himself and kept pacing. He wasn't dying, but it was as if his whole life had flashed before his eyes the minute Rayna walked away. Well, maybe he was dying, just a little bit. He couldn't think about that, though. He needed to do his best to move forward. He'd prepared for this meeting and he knew exactly how he'd feel when it ended. He wanted a drink, badly. He wanted to wash away every thought in his mind. His trance was broken with the sound of his phone. It was Coleman.

"I thought you were going to call me after your meeting."

"I just got home."

"Ah, I see. Well?"

"Well what? She's gone, that's what!" Deacon caught himself yelling. "I"m sorry," he added. Then he calmed himself down. "I mean it went all right. Went better than I expected, anyway." He paused. Coleman gave him time to process. "Damn it, Coleman, she's happy. Just, damn it!"

" I'll pick you up and we'll go have dinner and make that meeting. I'll be there in 10 minutes. Stay strong."

"I will."


	3. Back Home

Chapter 3: Back Home

####

"That was a great show, Deacon. Man, I think I'd forgotten how talented you are. By the end of your set, you could hear a pin drop in there!"

Deacon sat across from Coleman, in their usual booth at the diner. He shook his head. "Thanks. I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel damn good to be playin' again." Deacon paused. "Real good, " he repeated, smiling. Coleman nodded back. "I feel good for the first time in a long, long time."

####

He'd been a nervous wreck earlier that afternoon, thinking about walking into the Bluebird for the first time in over a year. There was so much going through his mind, that he was overwhelmed.

First, there was the issue of staying away from the booze. He was so used to the scene, and booze, smoking, and music went hand in hand. Coleman was planning to be there by show time, but Deacon needed to get there early to set up and that's when the drinking usually started, mostly as a way to calm his nerves.

Then there were the memories. The last time he was at the Bluebird he was playing with Rayna. He wasn't quite sure how he would overcome the emptiness he'd been feeling since the last time he watched her walk away.

As he opened the door a rush of emotions surged through his body. He could hear Rayna's voice calling him, 'Babe, come on now, tell me you haven't been drinking again.' He could smell her kisses, her skin...

'Hey, Deacon, you made it," Billy greeted Deacon as he opened the door.

"I said I'd be here, so here I am," Deacon responded, a little perturbed.

"Well, you know, son, that's not how it's always been,' Billy answered, in a voice that suggested he was sorry he'd brought it up. Deacon just nodded awkwardly, in acknowledgement.

"You want some help with the equipment?" Deacon just had a few speakers for the acoustic set he'd planned.

"Sure, Billy, if you want to help me pull some things off the truck, would be great."

Billy put the last speaker in place. "Well, all right, I think you're set." Deacon pulled over the stool and picked up his guitar.

"Thanks, Billie. I'll just warm up for a few minutes, then. Appreciate the help."

Billy looked over at Deacon. "You know, everyone's pretty excited to hear you play tonight."

Deacon responded with disbelief. "Now, common Billie, you know if people are excited, they're just curious to see if this drunk here has his act together. I'm sure my last stint caused quite a commotion."

"Well, that may be true, but you've got more fans than you think. You might be surprised."

Billy was right, of course. The booze hadn't just clouded Deacon's judgment, it had kept Deacon from realizing how good he really was and how many fans he actually had.

Deacon just laughed. 'You've always been too good to me, Billy." Billy just smiled, shook his head, and walked back to the kitchen to check on things.

The fact that this performance was a make-or-break moment, that people would be watching to see if he could pull this off, hadn't been lost on Deacon, all the same. That's why he'd spent so much time choosing the songs and the song order for his set, and why he'd spent so much time practicing. He had a vision of exactly what he wanted the audience to experience. That's why he left his newest song almost to the end.

He felt good about his music. After all he'd been through, music was truly his saving grace. He'd let all of that pain flow right through his veins and seep from his fingers into that guitar. Since rehab, there'd been a part of him that was trapped. He'd always had Rayna to share his ideas with and test his songs, but now he was on his own. His music needed an audience- just like a painting needs to be hung on a wall, without someone else experiencing his songs, they didn't mean very much.

As he started strumming, Tommy came in to set up the bar. "Deacon, buddy, good to see you, Man!" Deacon walked over and they shook hands. "You son-of-a-bitch, Deacon, I thought I might never see you again after that last show."

Deacon laughed. "Yeah, I can imagine. Bet it hasn't been the same here without me."

"You can say that again!" They both laughed. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. I'm nervous as shit about tonight though."

"You need something to calm you down?" Tommy offered.

"Tommy, you & I go way back, so I can count on you, right?" Tommy nodded, "Sure, Deacon."

"I don't care how nasty I get, or how many hot girls wanna send me over shots of whiskey- I don't want any booze comin' my way, you get that?" Tommy snickered a bit and Deacon grasped his arm.

"No, Tommy, I'm not jokin and I need your word on this. I can count on you, can't I?' Deacon looked at Tommy with an intensity that almost scared him. "I'm not goin down that road again. Never."

"All right, all right, Deacon. I understand, man. I get it. You got my word."

"Okay. Now I've got one less thing to worry about tonight." Deacon rubbed his face and took a look over the room. "Shoot, I was gonna warm up but I'm beatin' a dead horse. I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I'm gonna grab a bite to eat. I'll be back before my set."

###

When Deacon came back, Billy was right. It wasn't packed like a Thursday night, but for a Wednesday, this was a solid crowd. "A bunch of voyeurs," he thought to himself, and laughed a little while shaking his head. The kid playing before him was about to start a short set. Deacon laid low in the back and took in the scene.

When he stepped up onto the stage and looked out at the crowd, he was surprised by the adrenaline rush. He'd almost forgotten how that felt. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he was excited to play.

"Hi, I'm Deacon Claybourne. It's good to be back at the Bluebird. Hope you have as much fun as I'm about to. We'll start off this set with a little Waylon Jennings. That okay with everyone?" A few smiles flashed his way and he was off.

He started the set with some fun honky-tonk, then slowly moved to some of his favorite Merle Haggard and Kris Kristofferson numbers. Finally, he was ready to play his new song-the one he'd written just for this moment.

Looking out, he saw Coleman near the back door and Billy by the side of the bar. "One thing I've come to realize over the past year, is that 'family' doesn't only mean the people who raised you. True family are the ones who stick by you through the good times and the bad, who believe in you even when you don't believe in yourself. I see a few of you here. You know who you are. This song's for you."

_When life gets the best of me_

_I just close my eyes and see…_

_Fireflies dancing in the yard_

_Under a blanket of stars_

_Sound of that rusty stringed guitar playing songs that we know_

_And all that I have to do,_

_Is think one little thought of you,_

_And I'm back home._

_I'm right back home._

He strummed the last chord and the applause from the crowd almost choked him up. For a minute, he got caught up in the thought of Rayna, of those memories of the simpler days, when it felt like it was just the two of them against the world. The whistles from the crowd quickly brought him back.

"Thank you, thank you," Deacon responded. "Well, let's end the night with a classic. Can't have a real country music show without some Hank Williams, now can we?" And to more applause he started his own rendition of _Lovesick Blues_.

After the set, a few people came by to thank Deacon for a great show. Then the crowd emptied out pretty quickly. Billy came out to catch Deacon before he left for the night.

"You keep singing like that, and you'll get your Thursday night spot back."

'Thanks, Billy. You are like family, you do know that, don't you? I know you didn't have to give me another chance…"

"All right now," Billy interrupted, with one arm on Deacon's shoulder. "You just stay healthy. See you same time next week?"

"You bet." With a big smile on his face, Deacon picked up his guitar, loaded the speakers, and made his way to the diner to meet Coleman. It was a good night.


	4. Pandora's Box

Chapter 4: Pandora's Box

"Did I hear right? Watty said he saw Deacon last week at the Bluebird, that he's been playing there for the past six months at least? Apparently he's got some new songs, too."

"Yeah, that's right. I ran into Billy a while back and he told me," Bucky replied. He and Rayna were sitting in her kitchen going over their rehearsal schedule. "I guess I should've said something. I... well, you know, its' kind of awkward. I wasn't sure if you'd want to know."

Bucky noticed that Rayna couldn't help but smile and added, "But it's nice, you know, that you're happy for him."

"Yes, I am happy for him. It's such a relief, Bucky. You know Deacon. Even though we're not together, I still feel like he's family. We have so much history."

"You were a good team for a long time, too."

"Yeah, we were." Rayna looked over at the window. Maddie was playing in the yard with their nanny. She looked so happy and care free. "Okay, so what did you think of Pete?"

"Not sure."

"Oh, you mean you don't think the eyeliner and spiky hair fits with our look?"

"Yep, that about says it all." Rayna laughed.

"Oh the look on your face when he came up on stage to play. You don't know how much it took for me not to burst out laughing."

"Sorry, I'll try to screen better next time." Rayna couldn't stop giggling. "I don't know, that kinda made my day. I needed a good laugh today." Rayna heard the door open and soon enough, "Momma! Momma!"

"Sorry, Rayna, she just needs some time with her Momma."

"That's okay, Judy. We're wrapping it up here anyway." Rayna bent down to pick up Maddie. "Hi, sweet girl! Momma's gonna go push you on the swing! Doesn't that sound fun?" Maddie smiled and started fussing to get back outside. "Okay, you go out now with Judy and I'll be right there."

"Okay, Bucky, I think our time's up today."

"I'll call you tomorrow morning or as soon as I hear from Jimmy about our next interviews. See ya."

####

"Absolutely not!" Teddy replied, in a stern voice, trying to be sure he wouldn't wake up Maddie. He came home by 7pm every night so he could at least read to her before bed time. As usual, Rayna had just fixed him a plate of dinner and he was standing up, eating, when Rayna dropped the bomb.

"Teddy, we've always agreed that if Deacon got healthy, he could be in Maddie's life somehow. This is perfect. He needs a break, Teddy. You know how talented he is. You want Maddie's biological father to be someone she can be proud of- you know, when she's an adult and we tell her the truth."

"But this is too much, Rayna. Playing with the band, traveling with you? How do you expect me to deal with that after all he's put you through?" Teddy put the plate down on the dinner table and turned away. Rayna walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Teddy, I love you. You are Maddie's daddy and I love you even more for that. I wouldn't do anything to harm what we have. I just can't stand the thought that one day Maddie will know the truth and she'll hate us for not letting her know Deacon. She'll hate me for not helping him. I think she'll hate us both!" Tears fell down Rayna's cheeks.

"Rayna," Teddy turned around and wrapped his arms around her. "We'll figure this out," he shrugged. He knew Rayna's fear about Maddie finding out about Deacon sometimes kept her up at night. Even though she made an oath to him, he did worry at times that she might breakdown and tell Deacon, and that made him even more anxious.

"I suppose it would give Maddie a legitimate reason to be around Deacon without it looking suspicious or forced." Rayna looked up at Teddy and kissed him gently. "Will you think about it, at least, please, for me?"

"You need to give me some time, Rayna. This is asking a lot, but you and Maddie are my world and if you think this is what's best for her, then I have no choice but to think about it. Just give me some time."

"You're such a good man, Teddy Conrad. I love you so much!" Rayna kissed him again.

"Now sit down and eat." Teddy sat down at the table. Rayna put one arm around his shoulders and then sat down on his lap. She picked up his fork and lifted it to his mouth. Then she picked up the glass of red wine, had a sip and gave some to him. "God, I love you," Teddy whispered to her.


	5. Like Old Times

CHAPTER 5 - LIKE OLD TIMES

Deacon woke up a little groggy. The girl next to him was still asleep. 'Damn,this sure would be easier if I was drinkin',' he thought to himself. 'Veronica. Yep, that's her name. Don't forget it, Deacon!'

He slowly slipped his right leg to the ground and leaned over as quietly as he could. He slipped on last night's underwear and got up to make coffee. She seemed nice enough, and hot as hell, but he was really just looking for a little roll in the hay, and he had to admit to himself, a little company. The nights were getting a little too lonely.

It turned out neither was hard to find. He'd been approached by all kinds of women since he started performing again. He wondered if he just hadn't noticed before because of his drinking, or if the haze of Rayna Jaymes kept him too preoccupied. But there was no denying - girls were everywhere.

Memories of his pre-Rayna days came to mind. There weren't that many girls, but enough. 'Girls love a guy with a guitar,' - that's what his ol' pal Vince used to say. He'd tease Deacon pretty good, "I guess those girls just confuse guitar pickin' with other talents!" He could hear Vince's voice. Those were fun days, simpler days. Days before Rayna Jaymes.

'Damn it!' Deacon shouted, as the water spilled out from the side of the coffee pot. He forgot the filter. "Towel, where do I keep the towels?" He murmured to himself in frustration as he moved things around looking for something to clean up the mess. Suddenly, he heard the phone ring. He jumped to it, wanting to keep the noise down.

'Hello."

"Hey, Deacon, it's me, Rayna."

"Rayna?" he wasn't sure he heard right. Maybe he was distracted by the coffee pouring down the side of his kitchen cabinet.

"Is it too early?"

"No, I'm up. Everything Okay?" He was too shocked to hear her voice on the other end to think of anything else to say.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna come hear you play tomorrow night at the Bluebird and I thought we might chat a bit after your set. You know, catch up. It's been too long. Do you have time?"

"Sure, sure. I'm usually done around 10pm."

"I know, silly, I haven't forgotten."

Laughing, Deacon replied, "Yeah, I guess you'd know that, huh? Okay, I'll see you then."

Before Deacon could hang up, Rayna added, "Deacon, I hear you're killin it at the Bluebird- that you got our Thursday night spot back. Must feel good."

"Word gets around, I guess. Sure am enjoying being back on stage." Hearing her refer to it as _their_ Thursday night spot hit his heart like a sharp knife.

"Well, that's no surprise- it's where you belong, after all."

"Deacon, you here?" Veronica called out?

"Yeah, in the kitchen," Deacon responded, trying to hold the phone away from his mouth.

Rayna could hear a voice in the background. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No, don't worry about it. I gotta go though."

"See you Thursday."

"Yep."

Before hanging up he looked at the receiver as if it had just flown across the room on its own like a flying saucer. 'That was weird. What timing. Only Rayna," he mumbled to himself and shrugged.

"What? Were you calling me?" Veronica came out with nothing on but her pink thong. She came over to Deacon and put her arm around his ass, reaching around to his front side, seeing if he was ready go another round. She looked too good to resist. Deacon dropped the paper towels, picked up Veronica and brought her back to bed.

####


	6. Feels Like Home

Chapter 6: Feels Like Home

Rayna arranged with Billy to slip in through the kitchen door via the back entrance of the Bluebird. Bucky drove her in his Honda. After maneuvering her way through the kitchen, she stood behind a waitress and surreptitiously made it to the table that Billy had reserved for her. She wore jeans, heals, a pink oxford, and her hair in a ponytail with a baseball hat. She was pretty sure Deacon had seen her come in, as he seemed to nod to her during his song.

Once she sat down, she took a deep breath and looked around. The tables were filled with people all ages, lots of couples, groups of friends hanging out, folks just enjoying a simple good time. Everyone's body language seemed to suggest a feeling of familiarity, as if they already knew each other. The lighting was low, and the room was filled with smells from the kitchen. This was a far cry from the huge stadiums she'd become accustomed to on her recent tours.

Her trance was broken only by the shouts of a few fans. "Hey, how about some Merle Haggard," someone shouted to Deacon from a table on the left side of the room. Then someone contested, "No, Billy Ray!' which drew some laughter from the crowd. Deacon responded cleverly, "Well, we've sure got a variety of opinions don't we?!' The audience laughed again. "Actually, though, I'm thinking a little Glen Campbell might be in order. An old friend of mine used to like it when I played this one. But don't worry, I'll get to Merle and Billy Ray before the night's over." After a few more chuckles from the crowd, Deacon started playing again.

Rayna noticed the crowd was all smiles. Deacon sure was workin' it, she thought to herself. "My word, he's much more charming sober. Just look at that," she whispered so no one heard. Then she closed her eyes. There was just enough smell of beer & burgers mixed with just enough tin from the crowd to make it feel like a great party in someone's cozy living room. Rayna took another deep breath and realized how happy that made her feel. This is how she first experienced performing- this is what inspired her most.

She listened as Deacon played Glen Campbell's _Gentle On My Mind_ - one of his favorites. He used to play it after they'd had an argument, not only to calm himself down, but as an apology. Often after one of his drinking binges, Rayna would stomp out of their apartment, only to come home hours later to the sound of Deacon's voice singing this song. The soothing melody reminded her of a peaceful, flowing river. It always worked. She'd come sit by him and they'd sing a verse or two together, typically followed by a sincere "I love you,' and sometimes, some beyond amazing love-making resulting from the urgency felt when two people realize they could've lost each other, but didn't.

The last time they fought, though, Deacon never got the chance to play the song for Rayna. He was too wasted from the whiskey. Sitting there, hearing this song brought back so many memories- mostly the good ones, and it put a smile on her face.

After the last song, when almost everyone had left, Deacon moved to the back table where Rayna had been sitting. She came back out from the kitchen, where she'd been waiting for the room to clear. "Sorry, I didn't want to have to sign autographs tonight, or explain in the papers tomorrow. But I heard the whole set, except for the beginning of the first song."

"I get it." Deacon sat down across from Rayna. "Whatcha think?"

"Not that you need my approval, but you've never sounded better, Deacon, really. And I appreciated the Glen Campbell."

Deacon nodded then looked up at her, one eyebrow raised, "Well, I thought that was appropriate, considering." Rayna smiled. "You know, sometimes i'm not sure why you're even talking to me, much less coming to my show and sitting here now."

"Deacon, I'm not going to throw away all we had. We were a great team. We were great friends, most of all. I hope we can be friends again."

"I owe you a lot, Ray. Heck, I probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I'll do whatever you need."

"Well, I think I could say the same about you." Deacon managed a small smile. It felt good to know she valued what they'd had. "And, since you put it that way. I need you to fill in for lead guitar, for Sam."

Deacon immediately sat up straight, "Say that again?"

"I want you to fill in for Sam for the next three months on tour. He's got some personal stuff going on and can't come. We've interviewed at least 10 guitar players and not one shines a light to you, Deacon. Even Bucky said that."

Deacon stood up. "This is nice of you Ray, but I don't want you to feel you need to give me a hand out."

"Listen, we can argue 'till the sun don't shine about who benefits most from this. Yes, you do need a break, but I'm also stuck. No one's workin' out in that role, Deacon, and you can do it with your hands tied behind your back."

Shaking his head and putting one leg on the chair, Deacon replied, "Rayna, I always thought if music didn't work out for you, you could take a shot at a court room. No one could ever argue better than you."

Rayna smiled, "Well, that is the way it is." Deacon couldn't help but smile at that stubborn self assurance she always had. "I have to know by Sunday. Will you think about it?"

"And what about that business-man husband of yours? He's okay with this, after everything?"

"My success is important to Teddy, too. No one knows how much this business takes out of me more than Teddy. Anyway, I don't want to go into personal stuff- it's best we leave that alone."

"Well, you're right about that. Fair enough. I'll think about it."

Rayna got up, looked out the window and saw Bucky in his car waiting for her.

"I've gotta go. Bucky's waiting for me. Call me Sunday, okay?" Deacon nodded back.

###

"Thanks for coming over, Coleman." Coleman sat down on the couch, across from Deacon.

"What's up?"

"I'm gonna cut to the chase. Rayna asked me to fill in as lead guitar with her band for three months on her upcoming tour."

Coleman responded, visibly surprised, "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not. She came to the Bluebird last night and asked me."

"What do you want to do?"

"What do I _want_ to do or what do I think I _should_ do?"

"You tell me."

"I don't know. This one's got me in a knot. I went to a morning meeting, went for a walk, tried to wrap my head around it. But I'm not getting anywhere." Deacon stood up and put his hands in his back pockets and started walking around the room. "No one wants me right now after the past few years, Coleman, and you know music is my life. I mean, I'm lucky Billy let me play again at the Bluebird after that brawl I caused a few years back. Basically, I still have to prove myself, and I don't know when I'll get an opportunity like this. But..."

"But Rayna. You're still in love with her, aren't you?" Coleman asked. Deacon looked up with the obvious answer in his eyes.

"It's hard to be around her, Coleman. Last night at the Bluebird, the time we met at the river, it's like my life flashes before me and all I can see is her."

"Maybe seeing Rayna in her new life, with her family will cure you of that- over time. You know what they say, _time heals all wounds._"

Coleman noticed Deacon fidgeting. "What is it?"

"I had a girl over the other night."

"Huh. She's your first since rehab?"

"Yeah."

"Is this something you're going to pursue?"

"No, I just needed..." Coleman could see Deacon was uncomfortable.

"Everyone gets lonely, son. That's not a crime. Hey, it's a start. You're moving forward." Coleman slapped Deacon on the back. "It's a start, Deacon. I gotta go back to work soon. I just want to say one more thing. I'm not going to tell you what to do, except for this. Don't do anything that will jeopardize your sobriety. That, I have no problem saying."

"I know, Coleman. That's why this is hard."

"See you tomorrow night?"

"Yep, I'll be at the meeting, for sure." Deacon shrugged. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and Coleman noticed.

"You okay? You can call me anytime."

"Yeah, I am okay. I'll figure this out."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then."

###


	7. Testing: 1, 2, 3

**Chapter 7: Testing, 1, 2, 3**

_**I so appreciate everyone's reviews to date. For some reason, I just have an itch about filling in the puzzle as to how Deacon and Rayna worked together for so long while she was married and how their relationship evolved during that time. Please continue to review and provide feedback!**_

_**###**_

Deacon walked into the room to find Rayna on her cell phone and the rest of the band warming up. "Hey, Bobby!" Deacon walked over to the drummer and shook his hands.

"It's been a long time, Deacon. Good to see you back."

"Thanks, man, I appreciate that."

Bobby was the only original band member still left from the early days, since Sam was absent. Fortunately, Deacon and Bobby always got along well. He was the only one who was remotely interested in hearing from Deacon after Deacon went MIA two years ago. Sam didn't want to entertain any of Deacon's attempts to apologize. He'd always resented playing second fiddle to Deacon. What burned most was how Rayna put Deacon up on such a pedestal. Deacon messed up, Rayna forgave him, and things went back to 'normal' as if nothing had ever happened. When Deacon finally went MIA, Sam took over as lead guitar, and frankly, he was happy about that. The problem was, Sam was the only one. Despite Deacon's shortfalls, everyone but Sam knew he was second rate on Guitar compared to Deacon, and the friction between him and Rayna never quite dissipated.

Bobby looked to his left, "Deacon, this is Trevor on Bass."

"Hey, nice to meet you. Sounding great, Trevor."

"Your reputation precedes you, Deacon."

"Yep, I was afraid of that. Don't hold that against me, " Deacon and Bobby laughed. Trevor feigned a smile, but he looked more uncomfortable than anything else, which didn't go unnoticed by Deacon. Bobby then introduced Deacon to their keyboard player.

"Hey, guys, while Rayna's on the phone I just wanna say something." They all looked over.

"I don't want to step on anyone's toes here. I'm just gonna help out, fill in for Sam, and use this opportunity to get back into the game. If you have anything you want or need to say to me, please do. I'd rather hear it directly from you than find out through the grape vine. Lord knows there's enough about me out there to fill a few cases of wine, all right?" Everyone nodded and then got back to work. Deacon plugged in and started tuning up.

"Hi, guys. Sorry for the delay, that was Maddie's Nanny, so I had to take the call." Rayna looked a little flustered.

Bobby responded, enthusiastically, " I think we're ready, Rayna."

"Oh, Deacon, you already introduced yourself to everyone then I guess?"

"Yep, thanks to Bobby."

"Well, okay then, let's get going on the new one, "Standing in the Rain." Deacon, you got the notes?

"Yep."

Rayna was relieved to be past this hurdle. When she initially told the band Deacon would fill in for Sam, she got a little backlash from Trevor and their keyboardist. Bobby met with her privately and told her he'd heard how well Deacon had been doing at the Bluebird and he was hopeful it would work out, though he knew it was a big risk. He also told her that the other band members had heard a lot of trash talk about Deacon from Sam. He asked her if he could talk to them, and she agreed. He'd convinced everyone to give Deacon the benefit of the doubt- that after they heard him play, they'd probably change their tune, so to speak.

Bobby was right. It took running through about two songs for the other members to realize they'd just upped their game with Deacon on lead guitar. Since they were all serious musicians, the opportunity to work at the highest level possible was their primary goal. Trevor looked at Bobby, shook his head, and smirked. Bobby nodded back, thinking to himself, 'yeah, I told you, he is _that _good.'

Now she had a second hurdle to get through. About an hour and a half into rehearsal, the band was interrupted by the sound of little feet stomping. Then came the joyous screams of a little girl shouting, "Momma! " The door opened and Maddie rushed in as fast as her two tiny little feet could move. She jumped into her Momma's arms.

"Oh, I missed you!" Rayna kissed Maddie on the cheeks, then on the neck, then back on the cheeks, and Maddie giggled in delight.

"Okay, fellas, let's break for lunch. As you can see, Maddie's here." Rayna and Teddy had made other plans to introduce Maddie to Deacon, but June had a family emergency and was going to have to go home. So she told her to bring Maddie to the studio.

Rayna put Maddie down so each band member could take their standard turn greeting the little girl who'd become a pretty regular 6th band member over the past year and a half. This had become a ritual that they each enjoyed. Rayna walked over to Deacon and quietly asked," So, that went well don't you think?"

"Yeah, i've got no complaints. Bobby's always been good to me. We'll see if the others warm up."

"Deacon, don't fool yourself. They know a good player when they hear one. You won't have any trouble. Now where's Maddie? I want to introduce you to her." She turned to her left and saw Maddie moving towards Deacon's guitar. "Oh, Maddie, don't touch that guitar. Sorry, Deacon."

Deacon ran over to Maddie . She was about to poke around with the strings and tip the guitar. "Hey, there. I'm Deacon. You like guitars? Come on over here." Deacon sat down and started strumming with the guitar real low to the ground so Maddie could stand up and lean against him and pull the strings.

"Oh, she loves guitars. Isn't that something? She loves to pluck those strings," Rayna noted, grinning ear to ear.

"Well if that isn't the cutest thing," Deacon replied. Deacon leaned over and whispered to Maddie. "You know, you're Momma used to like to play with guitars, but she never quite got the hang of it."

"Hey, now, I wasn't that bad!" Rayna declared, with a smile.

Deacon gave her another look with the raised eyebrow, as to say, ' you're kidding, right?"

Maddie kept plucking, giggling and chuckling after each note.

"Yep, I think it's official. You've got a guitar player on your hands here, Rayna." Deacon kept tantalizing Maddie by picking more strings. "Try this one, Maddie." Deacon plucked a low E and Maddie clapped her hands. Deacon couldn't help but laugh at this adorable display.

Suddenly, Rayna felt a surge of adrenaline. Her heart was beating so fast she thought she might hyperventilate. "Deacon, can you watch Maddie just for a minute? I need to powder my nose.

"Sure," Deacon replied, barely taking his eyes off Maddie.

Rayna walked out to the hall and took a deep breath. She bent over, then sat down. She remembered her recent conversation with Coleman. He'd phoned her after learning she'd invited Deacon to play with the band. She remembered his exact words: "You're walking a tight rope, Rayna. Be careful with Deacon, he's still fragile." But after seeing Maddie with him now, she knew she'd done the right thing.

She couldn't believe how Maddie gravitated toward him. She'd waited over two years to see this- to see Maddie with her biological father, to believe they could have a relationship, that she wouldn't have to deprive her daughter of this, at least not completely. 'God, I hope no one else notices she has his eyes,' she thought to herself. She took another deep breath. "I can do this. Teddy and I can do this. Deacon can do this. It will be okay."

Rayna walked back into the studio. "Thanks, Deacon. " Rayna leaned over to talk to Maddie. "Hey, honey, Momma & Deacon have to get back to work." Rayna picked up Maddie gently, but Maddie kept reaching for the guitar. Suddenly the sound of other footsteps changed her tune and Maddie ran to the door as Teddy walked in. "Dadda!" Maddie yelled. Teddy picked her up and showered her with kisses. Then he kissed Rayna.

"Thanks for coming. I'm sorry to interrupt you. June had to leave, and of course Tandy's out of town. I didn't know what else to do," Rayna explained to Teddy, periodically glancing over at Deacon so he would hear and know she hadn't planned to shock him with all of this on his first day with the band.

"Don't worry about it. These things happen. I'm always happy to have an excuse to spend more time with Maddie." Teddy saw Deacon sitting on the stool and walked over to say hello.

"Long time no see."

"Yes, that's true." Deacon shook Teddy's hand. "You sure have a beautiful daughter there."

"Thank you." Teddy noticed that Rayna was right. Deacon looked much healthier than the last time they'd seen each other. In fact, Deacon looked almost ten years younger without the circles under his eyes. That made Teddy both relieved and a bit anxious.

Rayna noticed the awkwardness between them. "Are you taking Maddie home or to the Office?" Rayna interjected.

"I'll take Maddie home. I can finish up some things there."

"Okay, Babe." Rayna kissed Teddy goodbye.

"Deacon, I'll see you and the band at the Barbecue this weekend." Rayna had a tradition of gathering Bucky and the band at her place every six months or so. Usually she waited until just before taking off on tour, but she moved it ahead this time so Deacon could meet Maddie and get re-acquainted with Teddy. "Life happens when you're making plans," she reminded herself. At least this day was almost over.

As Teddy started to leave the other band members came back in from lunch.

The band members had barely picked up their instruments, when Deacon rushed in, "Let's get going, huh? Maybe we can wrap up by three if we move quickly here." Rayna sensed a new urgency in Deacon's voice and actions. She felt bad for laying all this on Deacon at one time. It couldn't be easy. On the other hand, she knew this would be the hardest day and if they could get through this, they had a chance of making it work.

Rayna moved closer to Deacon, speaking so no one else would hear, "You okay, Deacon?"

He knew exactly why she was asking. He took a deep breath and nodded, "Yep, I'm fine. Let's get back to work."


	8. The Dance

**Chapter 8: ****The Dance**

_**Thanks, again, to everyone for your reviews. This chapter is mostly a transition piece- a final chapter before Deacon and Rayna are back on stage together. I see statements on many of the stories indicating no ownership over characters, etc. Obviously i'm in the same boat. These are characters from the show Nashville.**_

**###**

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yep, I'm ready, Uncle Deacon." Scarlett walked towards the door, where Deacon was standing with his truck keys in his hand.

"Don't forget your sweater, Darlin."

"Oops!" Scarlett ran over to the couch, picked up her sweater, and then they both got in the truck and drove to the barbecue.

"Well, check this out , Scarlett. What a fancy gate." Deacon leaned his head out the window and gave his name to the security guard. The gates opened and they slowly drove in.

"Aunt Rayna really lives here?"

"Yes she does." They both looked around, taking notice of the very large homes with huge, perfectly manicured lawns. Everything in its place.

"Sure is fancy. These people must be rich!" Scarlett proclaimed.

"Yup. Oh, and you're gonna love her little girl, Maddie."

"Do we have to stay long, Uncle Deacon?"

"Nope. Let's have some dinner, try and enjoy ourselves, and then we'll take off. Maybe we'll make that movie you wanted to see."

"Okay."

Scarlett didn't know, but she was Deacon's back pocket excuse to leave the barbecue early. Initially he wasn't that excited about having Scarlett again for the week. It wasn't that he didn't love her almost like a daughter, it's just she was starting to get to that age where girls show a lot of attitude and serious mood swings, and he wasn't so good at handling that.

Beverly told him she needed to check herself in again, though, just for a few days, and well, he couldn't say no. He always felt a little guilty for having left Beverly behind when he came to Nashville, though he knew it was her choice. They'd been through a lot together and he was all she had left, other than Scarlett. But as it turned out, Scarlett was his lucky charm. If he could've found a reasonable way to get out of going to the barbecue altogether, he would have. But he knew he needed to at least make an appearance.

He wasn't blind. He sensed this was all part of a test he had to pass. He had to show that he was reliable, that he could be professional, and he could only imagine he needed to meet Teddy's approval, as well, which grated on his nerves to no end. But he knew he only had himself to thank for where he was and so he was going to have to swallow his pride and just go along with it.

The house was very large. Not a mansion, by any means, but impressive and definitely fitting for "Rayna Jaymes," queen of country music and her investment banking husband, he thought to himself. Rayna answered the door.

"Hi, there!" Rayna gave them each a swift hug and a kiss on the cheek, which took Deacon by surprise. She seemed genuinely happy to see them both. "Hey, Scarlett, it's so, so good to see you! I'm so glad you could come with your Uncle."

"It's good to see you, too, Ma'am"

Rayna looked her up and down, completely in awe of her beautiful, long golden blond locks and bright blue eyes.

"Now, there's no calling me _ma'am_. You're like family, Scarlett. You can just call me Aunt Rayna, or just Rayna. That's fine with me, if that's fine with your Uncle."

"Okay by me," Deacon smiled.

"And, Scarlett, I'm sure you're getting sick of hearing this, but you are just turning into one gorgeous young lady! Isn't she, Deacon?!"

"Yes, she is. I tell her that all the time." Scarlett rolled her eyes a little and Rayna laughed.

"Well, come on in. Everyone's out back."

Deacon led Scarlett through the kitchen/great room towards the back yard. He noticed a portrait of Rayna and Teddy on the wall and photos of Maddie all over the mantle. The furniture was formal. Not ornate, but still very formal. He had a hard time picturing Rayna in this house, day in and day out. Something just didn't feel right to him. He couldn't help but think that perhaps Rayna was a different person than he'd remembered. He shook his head, in bewilderment.

####

"Anything else for you gentlemen?" The waitress asked, smiling at Deacon.

"I'll have more coffee. Thanks, Sandy." Deacon winked back.

"I'm good, " Coleman responded.

'Good to see you fellas. Have a great night.' The waitress left their tab under the salt shaker and moved on to the next table.

"Ya know, Coleman, it was so strange being in that house. It was a wake-up call for me. I mean, that house- that house wouldn't have been the home of the Rayna I knew years ago. That wasn't her style- that wasn't our style, for sure. Maybe my fears were always true- maybe she's always been that country club girl and I just didn't want to see it or believe it. Maybe we were always on two different paths. Life is funny, isn't it?"

Coleman nodded, listening, while eating his pastrami sandwich.

"Maybe all we really ever had was the music, and this is just meant to be. I swear, I wouldn't have thought that even a few months ago, but i'm starting to see it. Rayna and I are very different." Deacon was full of renewed energy, almost excited about what he thought might be revelations into his past relationship with Rayna.

"Yeah, you may be right, Deacon, but you've got a lot you're still processing. And that brings me to another topic. We need to go back to working those steps. You seem to be a little stuck right now."

"Yep, i'm ready to get back into full gear. I think the last month, deciding to work with Rayna and adjusting to everything, just pre-occupied me. I think it's helping me see some things too, though."

"Well, let's try to make some progress before you leave on tour. You'll be gone for how long?"

"Three months." Deacon sipped his coffee. "You know she's bringing her little girl, Maddie on part of the tour. Can you imagine? Have you met her? She's an adorable little thing. Not sure how Rayna's gonna do it though. But she's always been so determined. Should be interesting."

"I'm more interested in how _you're_ gonna handle it, Deacon, honestly."

"I am so excited about just freakin' playin, Coleman, you have no idea. I don't think anything else is going to faze me at this point. I'm nervous as heck, but I can't wait to get out there again." Deacon took another sip of coffee. "I gotta do it- I gotta take this opportunity. I can live with the rest."

Coleman looked up at Deacon. "And don't forget, women love men with guitars."

"Yeah, and there's that, too." And they both laughed.

"Oh, boy, my wife would kill me if she heard me encouraging you to pick up women."

Deacon picked up the coffee mug and took another sip. "You and Audrey have a great thing going. You're a lucky man, Coleman. Not too many have what you both do."

"Yes, I am. You know, we've worked hard at it though. Marriage takes work- most people don't want to hear that." Coleman wiped his mouth with his napkin. "And on that piece of wisdom, I'll leave you to finish your coffee. I have to get going. I told Audrey I would be home before eleven. Last time I was more than a little late." Coleman stood up from the table.

"You're too popular for your own good," Deacon replied, as he stood up to shake hands.

"If you say so," Coleman laughed. They shook hands, and Coleman left to go home.


	9. Let It Roll, Baby Roll

**Chapter 9: Let It Roll, Baby Roll**

The arena lights went down and the stage lights went up. From behind the curtain, nothing could be heard but the chant of the crowd, 'Rayna! Rayna!'

Deacon had butterflies. He'd been jittery all day- the anticipation was killing him. He couldn't wait to start the music. It wasn't as if he had forgotten the thrill of performing- it wasn't really that long ago. It was that since he'd quit drinking, every sensation was more intense than he remembered. The noise was louder, the butterflies more painful, the anticipation more agonizing. And yet he was enjoying every minute of it. If this wasn't enough to keep him sober, he didn't know what was. He was on such a high and there was no alcohol or drugs in sight. He was there completely- his eyes wide open, his head clear as day, and his heart pounding like a jack-in-the-box about to pop. This was heaven.

Finally, the lights turned to center stage, the curtain rose, and Rayna came walking out to greet the crowd. The lights accentuated the red in her hair, the green in her eyes and the strut that knocked millions of men off their seats every performance. Man, that was powerful, too. Intoxicating.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Rayna yelled to the crowd, "Atlanta, this one's for you!" giving Deacon his cue. He strummed a siren screech with his electric guitar, leading the rest of the band and Rayna into the high energy crowd favorite that started each concert and got everyone on their feet. All night long, Rayna looked over at Deacon and smiled and he smiled back. Bath and forth all night Deacon moved from Bobby to Trevor to Rayna, head bopping, high-fiving, responding to the crowd, riding that unbelievable wave of energy.

He didn't think it could get any better, but then in their last set before encores, he and Rayna played a sentimental old favorite, a song they'd grown up on and performed together years ago when they first started out, before life got so complicated.

Everyone except for Rayna and Deacon exited the stage. Rayna sat on the stool that had been placed near the very front of the stage in front of all the band instruments. A stage hand brought Deacon an acoustic guitar and he sat on another stool just a few feet behind her to the left. The crowd, responding to the intimate setting, lifted cigarette lighters in the air. The only other lights were shining on them. Deacon strummed his guitar and Rayna sang the sweet melody with Deacon filling in on harmony- bringing that magic combination.

_Storm clouds maybe overhead_

_Bad dreams kicking in my bed_

_Blue skies they will come again_

_Nashville by the river_

Deacon looked over at Rayna, both teary eyed from the song that brought back memories of their own troubled childhoods, memories of loved ones who'd passed on, and the hopes and dreams of two naive, young Nashville artists who found solace in their music. Suddenly years of tension seemed to melt away into the sounds of the crowd singing along and swaying back and forth.

####

"Well, that was one of the best opening shows in a long time." Bucky yelled with enthusiasm as the band gathered back stage.

Bobby came over to Deacon, shook his hand and patted him on the back."Deacon, that was awesome. Great show, man!"

"Hey, Bobby, thanks," Deacon returned, smiling, laughing. "Man, that was fun. I'd almost forgotten. Whoa! What a charge!"

Bucky chimed in again as he started to fill glasses with champagne. "Seriously, guys, great show. This is going to be a great tour, I can feel it." After a few minutes of laughing, smiling and recalling highlights of the night, Rayna finally walked in.

Deacon saw her immediately and greeted her with a huge smile and open arms. "Hey, hey! Great show, Ray." Rayna was glowing- exhausted, but glowing. Though they were too overwhelmed by the moment to fully take it all in, there was a huge feeling of renewal for both of them, like they'd finally found common ground. It wasn't like it was before, it was definitely different. But somehow it was still good, damn good. It was the calm after the storm, like they'd reached the other side- a true celebration. They gave each other a big hug, Deacon pulling Rayna up off her feet for a minute before she settled in for a little speech.

"Well done, boys. Now that's how you put on a show! Woo hoo!" She laughed and then held up another bottle and class, but this one was sparkling cider. "Here, Deacon, I brought this for you." She held up the bottle and poured a glass for Deacon and everyone laughed and cheered, "Here, here!" Deacon laughed, held the glass high and toasted with pure enthusiasm, "Here's to you all. Here's to Rayna. Here's to second chances- It's damn good to be back!" They all enjoyed another hour of celebrating until it was finally time to call it a night. There was no let down from the adrenaline- they were just too tired to go on and they knew they had another three months to relive that moment over and over again.


End file.
